In Memory of Raju

Devu in his stories mentioned briefly the matter of “BigMa Botheration.” I wanted to add more colour to this story. Some of this you may have heard previously, and perhaps I am repeating some things. It is well known that my thatha (on father’s side) T. Rajagopalachariar had three wives (two of them concurrently). He was a professor of Law College, and while polygamy was illegal until much later, it was already frowned upon in society. BigMa (or periya amma) was his eldest and first wife – and she lived with her own brother, not her husband. However, after the deaths of both her husband and brother, she had no other place to go – and in those times, women were not able to live alone either. In this situation, my periappa Srinivasachari, my father’s elder brother (both sons of of Rajagopalachariar’s third wife) invited his eldest stepmother (BigMa) to live in his house with his family. He and his own mother (my paati) were very kindly disposed towards her, despite the peculiar family situation. There was never any sort of jealousy or ill will between them, as far as I recall. Further, BigMa was not an easy person to live with. She had become mostly blind due to non-treatment of her cataract. She was exceptionally religious and followed a strict form of aacharam where she would endure any amount of difficulty, including extreme hunger, to remain faithful to her beliefs. As an example, if a child were to accidentally touch her before her meal, she would forgo her meals for the rest of the day – since she needed to take a bath before she can eat, and she may not have the facility to take bath for the remainder of the day. On some occasions, she would forgo meals for days at a time under some pretext or another. She could not cook food, and she would only eat food prepared by one or two other women. She was also not a sunny disposition – so most people kept at a distance from her. Despite this, my periappa and paati took her in, cared for her in their house, and he even performed her last rites when she passed away. For someone to do this, while his own mother was alive and living with him at the time, was unusual, and it sticks in my mind as a story worth telling.